23/10/2008
I'm still here! and a couple of little thoughts.
A lovely friend text me and said I should blog more. Bless you and thanks for the encouragement! I'm still here! I've been crazy-busy lately - life's like that sometimes...who'm I kidding...A LOT! I'm working on two entries at the mo that I just can't seem to finish - so prayers would be appreciated -'Road rage, path rage & life rage' and 'Getting together or getting left on the shelf' one of which I'm needing a bit of help with, so please keep checking the site for new stuff. I've also started working on a book which is exciting and scary and daunting and time consuming and currently fraught with bad spelling! But, as I'm here and click-clicking on the keyboard I will just say I attended a worship central tour event with Tim Hughes & Al Gordon last night which was absolutely brilliant. During the evening there was prayers of encouragement for those using their creative gifts for God -Isn't it awesome that God can use everything for his glory - weather we're creative in the kitchen, on paper or with music or however. There were also two words that have wedged themselves in my brain from last night - Passion and Perseverance. I'll leave you to mull over what those mean to you in your walk of faith, but for me -my passion and motivation is Jesus, that's what makes me want to express myself creatively. Secondly 'perseverance' The Lord never promised me an easy life and quite often it's not all that easy but the deep rooted passion I have for Jesus and all he's done for me keeps me going and with his help I can persevere.
02/10/2008
Road rage, padestrian rage and life rage
I'm upset by something I witnessed recently. It was a very severe case of what's known as 'road rage' and it was truely nastly. Although I wasn't involved in the incident it made me feel vulnerable, scared and left me in a bit of a shakey state. It's an all too common occurance though as I'm sure any reader could think of at least half a dozen times they've seen such an incident happen or heard of it happening.
I recently read on the wonder-web about a new phenomenon called path-rage! I disagree that this is a new phenomenon because I've been scowling at and challenging bike riders using the paths since my senior school days. Yet in a recent pop up news item it stated that there are increasing acts of violence and verbal abuse incidents occuring around British pathways where people simply won't give way to others. Gone are the days where you do the 'path shimmy', you know the dance where you meet a complete stranger head on and both move the same way to avoid each other, then repeat that a couple more times before laughing out loud and gesturing (in a non-offensive way) to let them past. Now, you'll do better to avoid the oncoming padestrian who, for all you know, could flare up in a rage instantly just because you dare to occupy the nearby piece of pavement for a second or two.
There does seem to be such an increase in peoples anger levels in lots of areas of everyday life. We are not living in a chilled-out society, bad feeling is commonplace. You only have to catch approximately 35 seconds of any popular soap opera to 'entertain yourself' with some fictional aggravation which is somehow meant to be a reflection of average British life.
I'm certainly not exempt from these rising levels of crossness either! I find myself getting easily agitated at others bad/dangerous driving. When I've been kind enough to pull over to let a couple of cars through the narrow gap between double parked cars I feel aggrieved when a third driver decides to come through when it was blatently my turn! I can get very angry, very quickly about the most ridiculous things.
I really feel that God has been challenging me about these 'little' things recently. What am I so angry about? What is making everyone else so volatile? Surely PMT can't be everyone elses excuse too? I've given this a bit of thought and conclude that humans just don't like to give in. I don't like to give in. It's a 'self' thing, a 'me' thing. People don't like to give way to others - weather it's on the road or path and we don't like to give in to God. Because to give in means to give our'self's' up, to become less. The Bible's so clear about this, though. We are to think of others as better than ourselves, but it doesn't come easy. I've had to make a conscious decision every time I feel my blood pressure rising in the car- a decision to give it up. Anger is such a waste of time, it doesn't actually achieve anything and in fact it's self destructive. On more than one occasion I've found myself gently simmering away about a 3 second annoyance during a ten minute journey for a whole hour afterwards! I've decided to give up my imaginary rights to the road..oh and the path. Give in to the oncoming cars and try to remember each time someone annoys me how God wants me to see them . I'm having to pray more in the car (with my eyes open!) I even tried sticking verses on the dashboard for a while -although these proved a bit distracting as they kept falling off. When all else fails I vividly recall the innocent mimic of my 6 year old shouting 'CHIMP!' from the back and I'm truely embarrased before God and my truely bad example halts me from uttering it....
most of the time.
I recently read on the wonder-web about a new phenomenon called path-rage! I disagree that this is a new phenomenon because I've been scowling at and challenging bike riders using the paths since my senior school days. Yet in a recent pop up news item it stated that there are increasing acts of violence and verbal abuse incidents occuring around British pathways where people simply won't give way to others. Gone are the days where you do the 'path shimmy', you know the dance where you meet a complete stranger head on and both move the same way to avoid each other, then repeat that a couple more times before laughing out loud and gesturing (in a non-offensive way) to let them past. Now, you'll do better to avoid the oncoming padestrian who, for all you know, could flare up in a rage instantly just because you dare to occupy the nearby piece of pavement for a second or two.
There does seem to be such an increase in peoples anger levels in lots of areas of everyday life. We are not living in a chilled-out society, bad feeling is commonplace. You only have to catch approximately 35 seconds of any popular soap opera to 'entertain yourself' with some fictional aggravation which is somehow meant to be a reflection of average British life.
I'm certainly not exempt from these rising levels of crossness either! I find myself getting easily agitated at others bad/dangerous driving. When I've been kind enough to pull over to let a couple of cars through the narrow gap between double parked cars I feel aggrieved when a third driver decides to come through when it was blatently my turn! I can get very angry, very quickly about the most ridiculous things.
I really feel that God has been challenging me about these 'little' things recently. What am I so angry about? What is making everyone else so volatile? Surely PMT can't be everyone elses excuse too? I've given this a bit of thought and conclude that humans just don't like to give in. I don't like to give in. It's a 'self' thing, a 'me' thing. People don't like to give way to others - weather it's on the road or path and we don't like to give in to God. Because to give in means to give our'self's' up, to become less. The Bible's so clear about this, though. We are to think of others as better than ourselves, but it doesn't come easy. I've had to make a conscious decision every time I feel my blood pressure rising in the car- a decision to give it up. Anger is such a waste of time, it doesn't actually achieve anything and in fact it's self destructive. On more than one occasion I've found myself gently simmering away about a 3 second annoyance during a ten minute journey for a whole hour afterwards! I've decided to give up my imaginary rights to the road..oh and the path. Give in to the oncoming cars and try to remember each time someone annoys me how God wants me to see them . I'm having to pray more in the car (with my eyes open!) I even tried sticking verses on the dashboard for a while -although these proved a bit distracting as they kept falling off. When all else fails I vividly recall the innocent mimic of my 6 year old shouting 'CHIMP!' from the back and I'm truely embarrased before God and my truely bad example halts me from uttering it....
most of the time.
11/09/2008
Reasons to enjoy being a girl: Part 2
6. It's perfectly acceptable to prance around singing 'Dancing Queen' at the top of your voice whilst doing household chores.
7. New stationary is exciting as well as functional.
8. You can talk to anyone you please and no-one is suspicious of you. e.g. person with cute puppy, or cute baby or random person in the supermarket checkout line.
9. Your 'look' alone can kill. Men haven't mastered this.
10. You can wear skirts or trousers....David Beckham. No comment! Are we suprised it didn't catch on? er..NO.
11-15 coming soon...
After some more serious stuff.
Girl Power
7. New stationary is exciting as well as functional.
8. You can talk to anyone you please and no-one is suspicious of you. e.g. person with cute puppy, or cute baby or random person in the supermarket checkout line.
9. Your 'look' alone can kill. Men haven't mastered this.
10. You can wear skirts or trousers....David Beckham. No comment! Are we suprised it didn't catch on? er..NO.
11-15 coming soon...
After some more serious stuff.
Girl Power
06/09/2008
Prepared for anything?
I like to be organised. I like to be prepared, fully and as in advance as possible, it's part of my personality. When I'm packing for a family holiday, for instance, the process begins about three weeks before departure. I think about which clothes everyone will need to take, wash them, iron them and put them in the case in the corner of the bedroom. This trait drives my husband mad, in a perplexed rather than in an angry way! (He is a very calm and patient man...):
'Where's my blue Polo shirt?" He'll ask.
"Packed" I'll reply.
(BIG SIGH) "But we're not going for another 2 and a half weeks!!"...
When I'm satisfied with that stage I'll make a list of things I might need to go and buy:
* deoderant
* batteries
* things to keep the children happy (colouring book, sweets...)
...You get the picture!
I love lists. They're definately the way to go. I love crossing jobs off a list that I've complete. I enjoy the satisfaction of a shopping trip where I've got everything on the list in as little time as possible and preferably, as cheaply as possible.
This need for organisation, preparation and thinking ahead is evident in other parts of my life too...even, dare I say it, in my Christian life. I believe that God used this part of my personality in a way to 'win me'. Before I accepted Jesus as my Saviour it was thinking ahead to the rest of my life and more specifically to the end of it, to my death, that I didn't feel prepared for. I didn't like this feeling. Being unprepared (about anything) to me is the total pole opposite to the secure feeling of being organised, it's sheer panic. So, not preparing myself for the inevitable as I grew up seemed stupid. I HAD to think about it.
It puzzles me that a person will plan their funeral meticulously and sort out their pre-payed funeral package, choose the songs they want and even the colours they want people to wear! but be careless about their destination. It's like spending your life savings on a very expensive plane ticket for what you hope will be a relaxing holiday but not bothering to pack anything, omitting to plan any accomodation at the other end and not bothering to take your passport to the airport. How can it be that people can choose a beautiful silk lined box, look after their loved ones financially but only plan up to that point and not beyond?
Last September my Dad read a note to me over the phone that his Mum had left for him to read when she died. Although the event to us was sudden and shocking, my Nan had been totally prepared for it, in every way, despite not knowing the hour or day it would come. Her note wasn't long. She was a woman who didn't like a fuss. It simply stated that she had had a very happy life and contained two instructions. The first was about her death not bringing us sorrow.....although it does still bring me this, I know it brought her joy. The second was the two hymns she wanted at her funeral. The words of which summed up her life and death. She lived with Christ and died in him. Her destination was secure. I know where she's gone. For sure. I know where I'm headed too. It's my deepest longing and prayer that more people will be prepared like my Nan. A lovely pastor once put it something like this: "If you saw thousands of people running blindly towards the edge of a cliff, wouldn't you shout at them to warn them?"
I know that it's wonderful to know what God has prepared for me. I know it's a miracle He lead me to this certainty. I also know that I don't shout loud enough.
The anniversary of my Nan's death has made me realise again that it's urgent. Death is a certainty. For those I love, those I know and spend time with. For those that don't yet know Jesus and therefore don't know where they're going. Please pray for me. I want to shout louder. I really need to warn them about that cliff. I really have to tell them the way to get to heaven. But often my voice is little more than a pathetic whisper.
'Where's my blue Polo shirt?" He'll ask.
"Packed" I'll reply.
(BIG SIGH) "But we're not going for another 2 and a half weeks!!"...
When I'm satisfied with that stage I'll make a list of things I might need to go and buy:
* deoderant
* batteries
* things to keep the children happy (colouring book, sweets...)
...You get the picture!
I love lists. They're definately the way to go. I love crossing jobs off a list that I've complete. I enjoy the satisfaction of a shopping trip where I've got everything on the list in as little time as possible and preferably, as cheaply as possible.
This need for organisation, preparation and thinking ahead is evident in other parts of my life too...even, dare I say it, in my Christian life. I believe that God used this part of my personality in a way to 'win me'. Before I accepted Jesus as my Saviour it was thinking ahead to the rest of my life and more specifically to the end of it, to my death, that I didn't feel prepared for. I didn't like this feeling. Being unprepared (about anything) to me is the total pole opposite to the secure feeling of being organised, it's sheer panic. So, not preparing myself for the inevitable as I grew up seemed stupid. I HAD to think about it.
It puzzles me that a person will plan their funeral meticulously and sort out their pre-payed funeral package, choose the songs they want and even the colours they want people to wear! but be careless about their destination. It's like spending your life savings on a very expensive plane ticket for what you hope will be a relaxing holiday but not bothering to pack anything, omitting to plan any accomodation at the other end and not bothering to take your passport to the airport. How can it be that people can choose a beautiful silk lined box, look after their loved ones financially but only plan up to that point and not beyond?
Last September my Dad read a note to me over the phone that his Mum had left for him to read when she died. Although the event to us was sudden and shocking, my Nan had been totally prepared for it, in every way, despite not knowing the hour or day it would come. Her note wasn't long. She was a woman who didn't like a fuss. It simply stated that she had had a very happy life and contained two instructions. The first was about her death not bringing us sorrow.....although it does still bring me this, I know it brought her joy. The second was the two hymns she wanted at her funeral. The words of which summed up her life and death. She lived with Christ and died in him. Her destination was secure. I know where she's gone. For sure. I know where I'm headed too. It's my deepest longing and prayer that more people will be prepared like my Nan. A lovely pastor once put it something like this: "If you saw thousands of people running blindly towards the edge of a cliff, wouldn't you shout at them to warn them?"
I know that it's wonderful to know what God has prepared for me. I know it's a miracle He lead me to this certainty. I also know that I don't shout loud enough.
The anniversary of my Nan's death has made me realise again that it's urgent. Death is a certainty. For those I love, those I know and spend time with. For those that don't yet know Jesus and therefore don't know where they're going. Please pray for me. I want to shout louder. I really need to warn them about that cliff. I really have to tell them the way to get to heaven. But often my voice is little more than a pathetic whisper.
08/08/2008
Summer Holidays - Survival or Joy?
A high pitched chorus in whinging unison "Muuuuuuuuum" reaches my ears for what seems like the three hundred and thirty third time already today and it's only 10am!
This is my umpteenth attempt at putting some words (of wisdom? ha ha) into my blog in the last month. My success in achieving a few thrown together thoughts today will depend very much on how long I can ignore my children's want of constant attention and how much patience God will enable me to display in the next half hour.
The Summer holidays are long if not hot here in the beautiful south of England and I'm like the many many other mothers nearing the end of this break - very tired and totally lacking in any more creative ideas to entertain my young. I look back at the past few weeks and thank God for some really wonderful family times, we've got some great photo's and good times to talk about in the future. I also look back and sigh....I'm almost there and I've survived! I'll be honest. I don't find the holidays easy. I love my children and have lots of fun with them, but it's jolly hard work. I'm a working Mum ( so I'm allowed to say this) It's harder than my paid work. There are parts that are not fun, there are things I really struggle with, things about motherhood that really get me down. Arguing, bickering and fighting between them is the main one. If you're reading this and have more than one child and they don't do this, I'd love to hear from you as I've been led to believe it's a common problem. If you're reading this and have one child - the struggle may not be exactly the same but there are plenty of parenting 'pits' that I'm sure would affect you in the same way. If you're reading this and don't have any children at all, don't be smug! The lessons I learned were from God and about me, not really about childrearing at all.
Unfortunately If you're after the solution to sibling squibbles in the next paragraph you're going to be disappointed, however this is a simple breakdown of my recent experience of holiday survival!
1. Got irritated and annoyed with them and then at myself at being a sub-standard parent.
2. Got very upset at my own inability to cope with the endless diagreements.
3. Read a book donated by my helpful Mum-in-law called 'Parenting isn't for cowards (no kidding!)- dealing confidently with the frustrations of child rearing by Dr. James C. Dobson
4. Briefly encouraged, waded into battlefield situations with positive 'new' tips. Someworked, some failed -some quite spectacularly!
5.Reached mental breaking point.
6. Sought wisdom from an experienced, Godly mother (of 3 now grown-up boys) who pointed me straight to the wisdom in God's word and prayed with me about my struggles and listened in love and who helped more than she understands.
What an amazing thing to be able to ask God for help and to recieve it.
What a very stupid thing to delay seeking help until things become depressing and desperate.
I live in such busy times, but I've learned (once more...have you noticed that as adults it's rarely new lessons we learn, just the same ones over and over) to stop and to turn to God in the tough times, to lean not on my own understanding. Admitting you're struggling and asking for help is a hard thing to do when you're the one used to helping others out. I think I forgot (again) who's strength I need and I think that my summer has shown me I can't 'Mother' without God's help and quite frankly I can't do anything else without it too. He really is the strength in my weakness.
'You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!' Psalm 68:35
This is my umpteenth attempt at putting some words (of wisdom? ha ha) into my blog in the last month. My success in achieving a few thrown together thoughts today will depend very much on how long I can ignore my children's want of constant attention and how much patience God will enable me to display in the next half hour.
The Summer holidays are long if not hot here in the beautiful south of England and I'm like the many many other mothers nearing the end of this break - very tired and totally lacking in any more creative ideas to entertain my young. I look back at the past few weeks and thank God for some really wonderful family times, we've got some great photo's and good times to talk about in the future. I also look back and sigh....I'm almost there and I've survived! I'll be honest. I don't find the holidays easy. I love my children and have lots of fun with them, but it's jolly hard work. I'm a working Mum ( so I'm allowed to say this) It's harder than my paid work. There are parts that are not fun, there are things I really struggle with, things about motherhood that really get me down. Arguing, bickering and fighting between them is the main one. If you're reading this and have more than one child and they don't do this, I'd love to hear from you as I've been led to believe it's a common problem. If you're reading this and have one child - the struggle may not be exactly the same but there are plenty of parenting 'pits' that I'm sure would affect you in the same way. If you're reading this and don't have any children at all, don't be smug! The lessons I learned were from God and about me, not really about childrearing at all.
Unfortunately If you're after the solution to sibling squibbles in the next paragraph you're going to be disappointed, however this is a simple breakdown of my recent experience of holiday survival!
1. Got irritated and annoyed with them and then at myself at being a sub-standard parent.
2. Got very upset at my own inability to cope with the endless diagreements.
3. Read a book donated by my helpful Mum-in-law called 'Parenting isn't for cowards (no kidding!)- dealing confidently with the frustrations of child rearing by Dr. James C. Dobson
4. Briefly encouraged, waded into battlefield situations with positive 'new' tips. Someworked, some failed -some quite spectacularly!
5.Reached mental breaking point.
6. Sought wisdom from an experienced, Godly mother (of 3 now grown-up boys) who pointed me straight to the wisdom in God's word and prayed with me about my struggles and listened in love and who helped more than she understands.
What I learned this summer (apart from how to ignore bickering children):
What a blessing it is to have someone to turn to.What an amazing thing to be able to ask God for help and to recieve it.
What a very stupid thing to delay seeking help until things become depressing and desperate.
I live in such busy times, but I've learned (once more...have you noticed that as adults it's rarely new lessons we learn, just the same ones over and over) to stop and to turn to God in the tough times, to lean not on my own understanding. Admitting you're struggling and asking for help is a hard thing to do when you're the one used to helping others out. I think I forgot (again) who's strength I need and I think that my summer has shown me I can't 'Mother' without God's help and quite frankly I can't do anything else without it too. He really is the strength in my weakness.
'You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!' Psalm 68:35
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