08/08/2008

Summer Holidays - Survival or Joy?

A high pitched chorus in whinging unison "Muuuuuuuuum" reaches my ears for what seems like the three hundred and thirty third time already today and it's only 10am!

This is my umpteenth attempt at putting some words (of wisdom? ha ha) into my blog in the last month. My success in achieving a few thrown together thoughts today will depend very much on how long I can ignore my children's want of constant attention and how much patience God will enable me to display in the next half hour.

The Summer holidays are long if not hot here in the beautiful south of England and I'm like the many many other mothers nearing the end of this break - very tired and totally lacking in any more creative ideas to entertain my young. I look back at the past few weeks and thank God for some really wonderful family times, we've got some great photo's and good times to talk about in the future. I also look back and sigh....I'm almost there and I've survived! I'll be honest. I don't find the holidays easy. I love my children and have lots of fun with them, but it's jolly hard work. I'm a working Mum ( so I'm allowed to say this) It's harder than my paid work. There are parts that are not fun, there are things I really struggle with, things about motherhood that really get me down. Arguing, bickering and fighting between them is the main one. If you're reading this and have more than one child and they don't do this, I'd love to hear from you as I've been led to believe it's a common problem. If you're reading this and have one child - the struggle may not be exactly the same but there are plenty of parenting 'pits' that I'm sure would affect you in the same way. If you're reading this and don't have any children at all, don't be smug! The lessons I learned were from God and about me, not really about childrearing at all.

Unfortunately If you're after the solution to sibling squibbles in the next paragraph you're going to be disappointed, however this is a simple breakdown of my recent experience of holiday survival!

1. Got irritated and annoyed with them and then at myself at being a sub-standard parent.

2. Got very upset at my own inability to cope with the endless diagreements.

3. Read a book donated by my helpful Mum-in-law called 'Parenting isn't for cowards (no kidding!)- dealing confidently with the frustrations of child rearing by Dr. James C. Dobson

4. Briefly encouraged, waded into battlefield situations with positive 'new' tips. Someworked, some failed -some quite spectacularly!

5.Reached mental breaking point.

6. Sought wisdom from an experienced, Godly mother (of 3 now grown-up boys) who pointed me straight to the wisdom in God's word and prayed with me about my struggles and listened in love and who helped more than she understands.

What I learned this summer (apart from how to ignore bickering children):

What a blessing it is to have someone to turn to.

What an amazing thing to be able to ask God for help and to recieve it.

What a very stupid thing to delay seeking help until things become depressing and desperate.

I live in such busy times, but I've learned (once more...have you noticed that as adults it's rarely new lessons we learn, just the same ones over and over) to stop and to turn to God in the tough times, to lean not on my own understanding. Admitting you're struggling and asking for help is a hard thing to do when you're the one used to helping others out. I think I forgot (again) who's strength I need and I think that my summer has shown me I can't 'Mother' without God's help and quite frankly I can't do anything else without it too. He really is the strength in my weakness.

'You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!' Psalm 68:35