23/10/2008
I'm still here! and a couple of little thoughts.
A lovely friend text me and said I should blog more. Bless you and thanks for the encouragement! I'm still here! I've been crazy-busy lately - life's like that sometimes...who'm I kidding...A LOT! I'm working on two entries at the mo that I just can't seem to finish - so prayers would be appreciated -'Road rage, path rage & life rage' and 'Getting together or getting left on the shelf' one of which I'm needing a bit of help with, so please keep checking the site for new stuff. I've also started working on a book which is exciting and scary and daunting and time consuming and currently fraught with bad spelling! But, as I'm here and click-clicking on the keyboard I will just say I attended a worship central tour event with Tim Hughes & Al Gordon last night which was absolutely brilliant. During the evening there was prayers of encouragement for those using their creative gifts for God -Isn't it awesome that God can use everything for his glory - weather we're creative in the kitchen, on paper or with music or however. There were also two words that have wedged themselves in my brain from last night - Passion and Perseverance. I'll leave you to mull over what those mean to you in your walk of faith, but for me -my passion and motivation is Jesus, that's what makes me want to express myself creatively. Secondly 'perseverance' The Lord never promised me an easy life and quite often it's not all that easy but the deep rooted passion I have for Jesus and all he's done for me keeps me going and with his help I can persevere.
02/10/2008
Road rage, padestrian rage and life rage
I'm upset by something I witnessed recently. It was a very severe case of what's known as 'road rage' and it was truely nastly. Although I wasn't involved in the incident it made me feel vulnerable, scared and left me in a bit of a shakey state. It's an all too common occurance though as I'm sure any reader could think of at least half a dozen times they've seen such an incident happen or heard of it happening.
I recently read on the wonder-web about a new phenomenon called path-rage! I disagree that this is a new phenomenon because I've been scowling at and challenging bike riders using the paths since my senior school days. Yet in a recent pop up news item it stated that there are increasing acts of violence and verbal abuse incidents occuring around British pathways where people simply won't give way to others. Gone are the days where you do the 'path shimmy', you know the dance where you meet a complete stranger head on and both move the same way to avoid each other, then repeat that a couple more times before laughing out loud and gesturing (in a non-offensive way) to let them past. Now, you'll do better to avoid the oncoming padestrian who, for all you know, could flare up in a rage instantly just because you dare to occupy the nearby piece of pavement for a second or two.
There does seem to be such an increase in peoples anger levels in lots of areas of everyday life. We are not living in a chilled-out society, bad feeling is commonplace. You only have to catch approximately 35 seconds of any popular soap opera to 'entertain yourself' with some fictional aggravation which is somehow meant to be a reflection of average British life.
I'm certainly not exempt from these rising levels of crossness either! I find myself getting easily agitated at others bad/dangerous driving. When I've been kind enough to pull over to let a couple of cars through the narrow gap between double parked cars I feel aggrieved when a third driver decides to come through when it was blatently my turn! I can get very angry, very quickly about the most ridiculous things.
I really feel that God has been challenging me about these 'little' things recently. What am I so angry about? What is making everyone else so volatile? Surely PMT can't be everyone elses excuse too? I've given this a bit of thought and conclude that humans just don't like to give in. I don't like to give in. It's a 'self' thing, a 'me' thing. People don't like to give way to others - weather it's on the road or path and we don't like to give in to God. Because to give in means to give our'self's' up, to become less. The Bible's so clear about this, though. We are to think of others as better than ourselves, but it doesn't come easy. I've had to make a conscious decision every time I feel my blood pressure rising in the car- a decision to give it up. Anger is such a waste of time, it doesn't actually achieve anything and in fact it's self destructive. On more than one occasion I've found myself gently simmering away about a 3 second annoyance during a ten minute journey for a whole hour afterwards! I've decided to give up my imaginary rights to the road..oh and the path. Give in to the oncoming cars and try to remember each time someone annoys me how God wants me to see them . I'm having to pray more in the car (with my eyes open!) I even tried sticking verses on the dashboard for a while -although these proved a bit distracting as they kept falling off. When all else fails I vividly recall the innocent mimic of my 6 year old shouting 'CHIMP!' from the back and I'm truely embarrased before God and my truely bad example halts me from uttering it....
most of the time.
I recently read on the wonder-web about a new phenomenon called path-rage! I disagree that this is a new phenomenon because I've been scowling at and challenging bike riders using the paths since my senior school days. Yet in a recent pop up news item it stated that there are increasing acts of violence and verbal abuse incidents occuring around British pathways where people simply won't give way to others. Gone are the days where you do the 'path shimmy', you know the dance where you meet a complete stranger head on and both move the same way to avoid each other, then repeat that a couple more times before laughing out loud and gesturing (in a non-offensive way) to let them past. Now, you'll do better to avoid the oncoming padestrian who, for all you know, could flare up in a rage instantly just because you dare to occupy the nearby piece of pavement for a second or two.
There does seem to be such an increase in peoples anger levels in lots of areas of everyday life. We are not living in a chilled-out society, bad feeling is commonplace. You only have to catch approximately 35 seconds of any popular soap opera to 'entertain yourself' with some fictional aggravation which is somehow meant to be a reflection of average British life.
I'm certainly not exempt from these rising levels of crossness either! I find myself getting easily agitated at others bad/dangerous driving. When I've been kind enough to pull over to let a couple of cars through the narrow gap between double parked cars I feel aggrieved when a third driver decides to come through when it was blatently my turn! I can get very angry, very quickly about the most ridiculous things.
I really feel that God has been challenging me about these 'little' things recently. What am I so angry about? What is making everyone else so volatile? Surely PMT can't be everyone elses excuse too? I've given this a bit of thought and conclude that humans just don't like to give in. I don't like to give in. It's a 'self' thing, a 'me' thing. People don't like to give way to others - weather it's on the road or path and we don't like to give in to God. Because to give in means to give our'self's' up, to become less. The Bible's so clear about this, though. We are to think of others as better than ourselves, but it doesn't come easy. I've had to make a conscious decision every time I feel my blood pressure rising in the car- a decision to give it up. Anger is such a waste of time, it doesn't actually achieve anything and in fact it's self destructive. On more than one occasion I've found myself gently simmering away about a 3 second annoyance during a ten minute journey for a whole hour afterwards! I've decided to give up my imaginary rights to the road..oh and the path. Give in to the oncoming cars and try to remember each time someone annoys me how God wants me to see them . I'm having to pray more in the car (with my eyes open!) I even tried sticking verses on the dashboard for a while -although these proved a bit distracting as they kept falling off. When all else fails I vividly recall the innocent mimic of my 6 year old shouting 'CHIMP!' from the back and I'm truely embarrased before God and my truely bad example halts me from uttering it....
most of the time.
11/09/2008
Reasons to enjoy being a girl: Part 2
6. It's perfectly acceptable to prance around singing 'Dancing Queen' at the top of your voice whilst doing household chores.
7. New stationary is exciting as well as functional.
8. You can talk to anyone you please and no-one is suspicious of you. e.g. person with cute puppy, or cute baby or random person in the supermarket checkout line.
9. Your 'look' alone can kill. Men haven't mastered this.
10. You can wear skirts or trousers....David Beckham. No comment! Are we suprised it didn't catch on? er..NO.
11-15 coming soon...
After some more serious stuff.
Girl Power
7. New stationary is exciting as well as functional.
8. You can talk to anyone you please and no-one is suspicious of you. e.g. person with cute puppy, or cute baby or random person in the supermarket checkout line.
9. Your 'look' alone can kill. Men haven't mastered this.
10. You can wear skirts or trousers....David Beckham. No comment! Are we suprised it didn't catch on? er..NO.
11-15 coming soon...
After some more serious stuff.
Girl Power
06/09/2008
Prepared for anything?
I like to be organised. I like to be prepared, fully and as in advance as possible, it's part of my personality. When I'm packing for a family holiday, for instance, the process begins about three weeks before departure. I think about which clothes everyone will need to take, wash them, iron them and put them in the case in the corner of the bedroom. This trait drives my husband mad, in a perplexed rather than in an angry way! (He is a very calm and patient man...):
'Where's my blue Polo shirt?" He'll ask.
"Packed" I'll reply.
(BIG SIGH) "But we're not going for another 2 and a half weeks!!"...
When I'm satisfied with that stage I'll make a list of things I might need to go and buy:
* deoderant
* batteries
* things to keep the children happy (colouring book, sweets...)
...You get the picture!
I love lists. They're definately the way to go. I love crossing jobs off a list that I've complete. I enjoy the satisfaction of a shopping trip where I've got everything on the list in as little time as possible and preferably, as cheaply as possible.
This need for organisation, preparation and thinking ahead is evident in other parts of my life too...even, dare I say it, in my Christian life. I believe that God used this part of my personality in a way to 'win me'. Before I accepted Jesus as my Saviour it was thinking ahead to the rest of my life and more specifically to the end of it, to my death, that I didn't feel prepared for. I didn't like this feeling. Being unprepared (about anything) to me is the total pole opposite to the secure feeling of being organised, it's sheer panic. So, not preparing myself for the inevitable as I grew up seemed stupid. I HAD to think about it.
It puzzles me that a person will plan their funeral meticulously and sort out their pre-payed funeral package, choose the songs they want and even the colours they want people to wear! but be careless about their destination. It's like spending your life savings on a very expensive plane ticket for what you hope will be a relaxing holiday but not bothering to pack anything, omitting to plan any accomodation at the other end and not bothering to take your passport to the airport. How can it be that people can choose a beautiful silk lined box, look after their loved ones financially but only plan up to that point and not beyond?
Last September my Dad read a note to me over the phone that his Mum had left for him to read when she died. Although the event to us was sudden and shocking, my Nan had been totally prepared for it, in every way, despite not knowing the hour or day it would come. Her note wasn't long. She was a woman who didn't like a fuss. It simply stated that she had had a very happy life and contained two instructions. The first was about her death not bringing us sorrow.....although it does still bring me this, I know it brought her joy. The second was the two hymns she wanted at her funeral. The words of which summed up her life and death. She lived with Christ and died in him. Her destination was secure. I know where she's gone. For sure. I know where I'm headed too. It's my deepest longing and prayer that more people will be prepared like my Nan. A lovely pastor once put it something like this: "If you saw thousands of people running blindly towards the edge of a cliff, wouldn't you shout at them to warn them?"
I know that it's wonderful to know what God has prepared for me. I know it's a miracle He lead me to this certainty. I also know that I don't shout loud enough.
The anniversary of my Nan's death has made me realise again that it's urgent. Death is a certainty. For those I love, those I know and spend time with. For those that don't yet know Jesus and therefore don't know where they're going. Please pray for me. I want to shout louder. I really need to warn them about that cliff. I really have to tell them the way to get to heaven. But often my voice is little more than a pathetic whisper.
'Where's my blue Polo shirt?" He'll ask.
"Packed" I'll reply.
(BIG SIGH) "But we're not going for another 2 and a half weeks!!"...
When I'm satisfied with that stage I'll make a list of things I might need to go and buy:
* deoderant
* batteries
* things to keep the children happy (colouring book, sweets...)
...You get the picture!
I love lists. They're definately the way to go. I love crossing jobs off a list that I've complete. I enjoy the satisfaction of a shopping trip where I've got everything on the list in as little time as possible and preferably, as cheaply as possible.
This need for organisation, preparation and thinking ahead is evident in other parts of my life too...even, dare I say it, in my Christian life. I believe that God used this part of my personality in a way to 'win me'. Before I accepted Jesus as my Saviour it was thinking ahead to the rest of my life and more specifically to the end of it, to my death, that I didn't feel prepared for. I didn't like this feeling. Being unprepared (about anything) to me is the total pole opposite to the secure feeling of being organised, it's sheer panic. So, not preparing myself for the inevitable as I grew up seemed stupid. I HAD to think about it.
It puzzles me that a person will plan their funeral meticulously and sort out their pre-payed funeral package, choose the songs they want and even the colours they want people to wear! but be careless about their destination. It's like spending your life savings on a very expensive plane ticket for what you hope will be a relaxing holiday but not bothering to pack anything, omitting to plan any accomodation at the other end and not bothering to take your passport to the airport. How can it be that people can choose a beautiful silk lined box, look after their loved ones financially but only plan up to that point and not beyond?
Last September my Dad read a note to me over the phone that his Mum had left for him to read when she died. Although the event to us was sudden and shocking, my Nan had been totally prepared for it, in every way, despite not knowing the hour or day it would come. Her note wasn't long. She was a woman who didn't like a fuss. It simply stated that she had had a very happy life and contained two instructions. The first was about her death not bringing us sorrow.....although it does still bring me this, I know it brought her joy. The second was the two hymns she wanted at her funeral. The words of which summed up her life and death. She lived with Christ and died in him. Her destination was secure. I know where she's gone. For sure. I know where I'm headed too. It's my deepest longing and prayer that more people will be prepared like my Nan. A lovely pastor once put it something like this: "If you saw thousands of people running blindly towards the edge of a cliff, wouldn't you shout at them to warn them?"
I know that it's wonderful to know what God has prepared for me. I know it's a miracle He lead me to this certainty. I also know that I don't shout loud enough.
The anniversary of my Nan's death has made me realise again that it's urgent. Death is a certainty. For those I love, those I know and spend time with. For those that don't yet know Jesus and therefore don't know where they're going. Please pray for me. I want to shout louder. I really need to warn them about that cliff. I really have to tell them the way to get to heaven. But often my voice is little more than a pathetic whisper.
08/08/2008
Summer Holidays - Survival or Joy?
A high pitched chorus in whinging unison "Muuuuuuuuum" reaches my ears for what seems like the three hundred and thirty third time already today and it's only 10am!
This is my umpteenth attempt at putting some words (of wisdom? ha ha) into my blog in the last month. My success in achieving a few thrown together thoughts today will depend very much on how long I can ignore my children's want of constant attention and how much patience God will enable me to display in the next half hour.
The Summer holidays are long if not hot here in the beautiful south of England and I'm like the many many other mothers nearing the end of this break - very tired and totally lacking in any more creative ideas to entertain my young. I look back at the past few weeks and thank God for some really wonderful family times, we've got some great photo's and good times to talk about in the future. I also look back and sigh....I'm almost there and I've survived! I'll be honest. I don't find the holidays easy. I love my children and have lots of fun with them, but it's jolly hard work. I'm a working Mum ( so I'm allowed to say this) It's harder than my paid work. There are parts that are not fun, there are things I really struggle with, things about motherhood that really get me down. Arguing, bickering and fighting between them is the main one. If you're reading this and have more than one child and they don't do this, I'd love to hear from you as I've been led to believe it's a common problem. If you're reading this and have one child - the struggle may not be exactly the same but there are plenty of parenting 'pits' that I'm sure would affect you in the same way. If you're reading this and don't have any children at all, don't be smug! The lessons I learned were from God and about me, not really about childrearing at all.
Unfortunately If you're after the solution to sibling squibbles in the next paragraph you're going to be disappointed, however this is a simple breakdown of my recent experience of holiday survival!
1. Got irritated and annoyed with them and then at myself at being a sub-standard parent.
2. Got very upset at my own inability to cope with the endless diagreements.
3. Read a book donated by my helpful Mum-in-law called 'Parenting isn't for cowards (no kidding!)- dealing confidently with the frustrations of child rearing by Dr. James C. Dobson
4. Briefly encouraged, waded into battlefield situations with positive 'new' tips. Someworked, some failed -some quite spectacularly!
5.Reached mental breaking point.
6. Sought wisdom from an experienced, Godly mother (of 3 now grown-up boys) who pointed me straight to the wisdom in God's word and prayed with me about my struggles and listened in love and who helped more than she understands.
What an amazing thing to be able to ask God for help and to recieve it.
What a very stupid thing to delay seeking help until things become depressing and desperate.
I live in such busy times, but I've learned (once more...have you noticed that as adults it's rarely new lessons we learn, just the same ones over and over) to stop and to turn to God in the tough times, to lean not on my own understanding. Admitting you're struggling and asking for help is a hard thing to do when you're the one used to helping others out. I think I forgot (again) who's strength I need and I think that my summer has shown me I can't 'Mother' without God's help and quite frankly I can't do anything else without it too. He really is the strength in my weakness.
'You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!' Psalm 68:35
This is my umpteenth attempt at putting some words (of wisdom? ha ha) into my blog in the last month. My success in achieving a few thrown together thoughts today will depend very much on how long I can ignore my children's want of constant attention and how much patience God will enable me to display in the next half hour.
The Summer holidays are long if not hot here in the beautiful south of England and I'm like the many many other mothers nearing the end of this break - very tired and totally lacking in any more creative ideas to entertain my young. I look back at the past few weeks and thank God for some really wonderful family times, we've got some great photo's and good times to talk about in the future. I also look back and sigh....I'm almost there and I've survived! I'll be honest. I don't find the holidays easy. I love my children and have lots of fun with them, but it's jolly hard work. I'm a working Mum ( so I'm allowed to say this) It's harder than my paid work. There are parts that are not fun, there are things I really struggle with, things about motherhood that really get me down. Arguing, bickering and fighting between them is the main one. If you're reading this and have more than one child and they don't do this, I'd love to hear from you as I've been led to believe it's a common problem. If you're reading this and have one child - the struggle may not be exactly the same but there are plenty of parenting 'pits' that I'm sure would affect you in the same way. If you're reading this and don't have any children at all, don't be smug! The lessons I learned were from God and about me, not really about childrearing at all.
Unfortunately If you're after the solution to sibling squibbles in the next paragraph you're going to be disappointed, however this is a simple breakdown of my recent experience of holiday survival!
1. Got irritated and annoyed with them and then at myself at being a sub-standard parent.
2. Got very upset at my own inability to cope with the endless diagreements.
3. Read a book donated by my helpful Mum-in-law called 'Parenting isn't for cowards (no kidding!)- dealing confidently with the frustrations of child rearing by Dr. James C. Dobson
4. Briefly encouraged, waded into battlefield situations with positive 'new' tips. Someworked, some failed -some quite spectacularly!
5.Reached mental breaking point.
6. Sought wisdom from an experienced, Godly mother (of 3 now grown-up boys) who pointed me straight to the wisdom in God's word and prayed with me about my struggles and listened in love and who helped more than she understands.
What I learned this summer (apart from how to ignore bickering children):
What a blessing it is to have someone to turn to.What an amazing thing to be able to ask God for help and to recieve it.
What a very stupid thing to delay seeking help until things become depressing and desperate.
I live in such busy times, but I've learned (once more...have you noticed that as adults it's rarely new lessons we learn, just the same ones over and over) to stop and to turn to God in the tough times, to lean not on my own understanding. Admitting you're struggling and asking for help is a hard thing to do when you're the one used to helping others out. I think I forgot (again) who's strength I need and I think that my summer has shown me I can't 'Mother' without God's help and quite frankly I can't do anything else without it too. He really is the strength in my weakness.
'You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!' Psalm 68:35
29/07/2008
Reasons to enjoy being a girl: part 1
This one's lighthearted.....so sorry if you were after deep and meaningful thoughts.
I love being a girl, or is it a lady/woman now?....I prefer girl.
Being female is fab, I'm glad that's what God made me.
Here's a few resons why:
1. You can colour co-ordinate your outfit without your friends laughing at you...in fact it's actively encouraged.
2. You are expected to enjoy eating chocolate - made by the aztecs as an aphrodisiac, popularised and established by puritans and quakers (Mr. Cadbury himself) as upright family businesses in Europe. Can't be bad then.
3. Crying is expected, feel no shame. Happy?...you can cry. Sad? Absolutely. Just plain confused or exasperated? Crying can help......in fact
4. Sudden or frequent displays of emotion are ok if you're a girl. My survey (of a random range of females) said hugging was the most popular.
5. Being giggly is ok if you're female, NOT if you're male.
Ahh there are loads more reasons.....think I'll interspurse my 'reasons' entries between more serious articles. Watch this space!
(Any of your own reasons to add please mail me at gilliantuck@gmail.com so I can steal your ideas for entries 6-10! I'm aiming for 100....)
I love being a girl, or is it a lady/woman now?....I prefer girl.
Being female is fab, I'm glad that's what God made me.
Here's a few resons why:
1. You can colour co-ordinate your outfit without your friends laughing at you...in fact it's actively encouraged.
2. You are expected to enjoy eating chocolate - made by the aztecs as an aphrodisiac, popularised and established by puritans and quakers (Mr. Cadbury himself) as upright family businesses in Europe. Can't be bad then.
3. Crying is expected, feel no shame. Happy?...you can cry. Sad? Absolutely. Just plain confused or exasperated? Crying can help......in fact
4. Sudden or frequent displays of emotion are ok if you're a girl. My survey (of a random range of females) said hugging was the most popular.
5. Being giggly is ok if you're female, NOT if you're male.
Ahh there are loads more reasons.....think I'll interspurse my 'reasons' entries between more serious articles. Watch this space!
(Any of your own reasons to add please mail me at gilliantuck@gmail.com so I can steal your ideas for entries 6-10! I'm aiming for 100....)
20/07/2008
Encouraging Discouragements
I've had one of those weeks, I think you know the kind I mean. When everything conspires against you to bring you down, when the little things become too large and when curling up in bed and going to sleep until the next week starts seems the best option. There's been no major event in my life that could possibly warrant such a downturn in my spirits, but I'm assured by several good books and more than a handful of real life Christians that times like this are normal.
Normal, yes. Easy, no. I've (notice the word!) tried cheering myself up. You might be familiar with the routine - count your blessings - even write them down, have a little shopping trip - nothing too extravagant, just a little material pick-me-up, read a funny book, watch a funny movie, phone a cheerie friend (who incidently was out! how inconsiderate!!). Solutions to 'the doldrums' tried and tested by countless women I'm sure. Methods that don't help, well not in the long run anyway. Eventually the lightbulb appears comically above my head and I stop trying and do the thing I should have done before spending my money, lifting the phone or watching that film ('The Wedding Singer' in case you were wondering, very funny if you lived through the eighties). I lifted my Bible and spend some time and energy in prayer. It might surprise you to know that this didn't magically and instantaniously transform my day, or the rest of my week for that matter. Even today, Sunday, walking back to the car after a wonderful church service I overheard a short conversation which discouraged me again. But what that simple act of faith in turning to God did was to reassure me that I'm normal and taught me to hold on. A lady called Eugenia Price puts it like this:
'I no longer panic at dry or so-called dark periods....I learned long ago that if those times didn't come, we wouldn't be normal. How we feel- how I feel 'spiritually'- seems less and less relevant. What matters is that God is constant. He is the only constant.'
My husband and I had a chat this week about discouraging things, the things that are getting us down and effecting us. He pointed out that we should be encouraged that satan is bothering with us at all. Of course, it's easy to attribute things to the devil, but after some thought I've realised there's no other origin for discouragements as God is the source of all things good.
I often find that I'm drawn to songs which express times in my journey with God - there's always a song that your soul can cry out to God. There have been two this week that have helped me reflect on what God wants me to learn. They're both from the same album - so if you feel the urge to shop for whatever reason, your money wouldn't be wasted on Lou Fellingham's 'Treasure'. The track hard pressed starts: 'I am hard pressed on every side but I'm not crushed' When I'm down I know God is constant and I also know that with God the discouragements of life will never crush me. The other song which has helped me begins: 'You give rest to the weary, you bring strength to the weak. As they wait in your presence, there is grace for their need...'
So, if you're barely clinging on and feeling discouraged, don't let my story encourage you, let God's abundant grace encourage you, His constant, unchanging grace.
The book which made me laugh is 'Not A Super-Saint' by Liz Hansford.
Normal, yes. Easy, no. I've (notice the word!) tried cheering myself up. You might be familiar with the routine - count your blessings - even write them down, have a little shopping trip - nothing too extravagant, just a little material pick-me-up, read a funny book, watch a funny movie, phone a cheerie friend (who incidently was out! how inconsiderate!!). Solutions to 'the doldrums' tried and tested by countless women I'm sure. Methods that don't help, well not in the long run anyway. Eventually the lightbulb appears comically above my head and I stop trying and do the thing I should have done before spending my money, lifting the phone or watching that film ('The Wedding Singer' in case you were wondering, very funny if you lived through the eighties). I lifted my Bible and spend some time and energy in prayer. It might surprise you to know that this didn't magically and instantaniously transform my day, or the rest of my week for that matter. Even today, Sunday, walking back to the car after a wonderful church service I overheard a short conversation which discouraged me again. But what that simple act of faith in turning to God did was to reassure me that I'm normal and taught me to hold on. A lady called Eugenia Price puts it like this:
'I no longer panic at dry or so-called dark periods....I learned long ago that if those times didn't come, we wouldn't be normal. How we feel- how I feel 'spiritually'- seems less and less relevant. What matters is that God is constant. He is the only constant.'
My husband and I had a chat this week about discouraging things, the things that are getting us down and effecting us. He pointed out that we should be encouraged that satan is bothering with us at all. Of course, it's easy to attribute things to the devil, but after some thought I've realised there's no other origin for discouragements as God is the source of all things good.
I often find that I'm drawn to songs which express times in my journey with God - there's always a song that your soul can cry out to God. There have been two this week that have helped me reflect on what God wants me to learn. They're both from the same album - so if you feel the urge to shop for whatever reason, your money wouldn't be wasted on Lou Fellingham's 'Treasure'. The track hard pressed starts: 'I am hard pressed on every side but I'm not crushed' When I'm down I know God is constant and I also know that with God the discouragements of life will never crush me. The other song which has helped me begins: 'You give rest to the weary, you bring strength to the weak. As they wait in your presence, there is grace for their need...'
So, if you're barely clinging on and feeling discouraged, don't let my story encourage you, let God's abundant grace encourage you, His constant, unchanging grace.
The book which made me laugh is 'Not A Super-Saint' by Liz Hansford.
11/07/2008
We're all hiding something.
I hide things from people all the time, I suspect I'm not alone in this. It's feelings I'm hiding most of the time, though I do confess to hiding certain annoying children's toys for my own sanity, my husband's birthday presents and the occasional chocolate bar on a high shelf so little hands can't reach.
I'm beginning to think there is little point in any of this hiding business - the loud toys usually give themselves away. I can't keep a secret where gifts are concerned (usually because I'm just so excited about giving them, I want the receiver to be excited too, suspense is overrated). My kids have an inbuilt chocolate sniffing radar with a radius of 1.5 miles and can scale the kitchen cabinets like spiderman after a can of coke, though they usually share their find. Feelings have a habit of building up if hidden and surfacing sooner or later.
I hide my feelings from those close to me as well as from the well meaning Sunday enquirer:
"How's things? Alright?"
(usual reply) " yes, thanks. Busy.".....rush off to collect children, check pigeon hole and give vital messages to 3 people.
Sound vaguely familiar? Real life you might think. Yes, I know I can't pour my little heart out for half an hour with each person who asks. But, why aren't I braver sometimes or at least a bit more honest.
Here's an imaginary replay:
"Hi, Gill - how's things? Alright?"
...pause...think..."Oh, Hi -------(insert name) thanks for asking, work's OK. Though actually, I'm feeling pretty tired today and have been struggling quite a bit with being patient with the kids - I can be so horrid to them, it scares me."
(taken slightly aback by honesty of reply) "I'm glad your jobs going well, I didn't realise you struggled with the kids (ha ha) but I can pray about that for you if you want...."
"Thank you, really appreciate that (weight lifted) See you later"....Rush off to collect slightly scowling children, check pigeon hole and forget not-so-vital message for 3 people. That's why texting was invented.
Sounds simple doesn't it? I rarely do this.
There's something else I need to do more of: Take my feelings directly to God, right away.
I'm quite a slow learner, it seems. I'm not saying something new, something we all don't know. The practice is somewhat trickier.
I am learning that to hide my feelings from others is silly, but to hide them from God is plain stupid and detrimental to my spiritual life and relationship with Him. For a start, He knows them already, secondly He wants me to share them all with him (yes, ALL! - anger, frustration, despair, joy, excitement, fear, petty annoyances, disappointment...an endless list.) He wants me to depend on Him. God wants us to surrender our feelings to him. To stop hiding them in a feeble attempt at dealing with them by ourselves. Ideal scenario then:
Stop...pray "Lord, I'm feeling pretty ------------ (insert feeling) help me to trust you and to rely on you to help me deal with this feeling. I know you love me and understand my feelings......" (weight lifted, spirit comforted, relationship with God closer)
It's an amazing to remember that Jesus himself knows whatever feelings I have right now, he experienced them for himself.
I love the song 'surrender' which says: 'I'm singing you this song, I'm waiting at the cross, and all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss. For the sake of knowing you, the glory of your name, to know the lasting joy, even sharing in your pain, and I surrender all to you, all to you. And I surrender all to you, all to you.' I'm going to put this song on now, REALLY loud (to drown out some noisy toy with an overactive battery) and use it as a prayer. I might even cry, to be honest. For the sake of knowing God - I have to surrender ALL - that includes my feelings. The good, the bad and the ugly.
I'm determined, with Jesus' help, not to hide my feelings anymore. Definately not from Him and as far as possible not from you. So, be careful what you ask me when you see me, are you prepared to get an honest answer! I hope the answers I recieve from others from now on will be heartfelt and help me to pray for them. Go on be brave, the person you choose to share your feelings with has probably felt the same thing at some point. Go on, be brave - share them first with God. He knows already, He wants you to.
'hide (hid) To conceal; to put out of or withhold from sight; to secrete; to cover up; to keep secret, to withold from the knowledge of.' The Concise English Dictionary.
I've included an audio visual version of surrender on the video bar opposite.
I'm beginning to think there is little point in any of this hiding business - the loud toys usually give themselves away. I can't keep a secret where gifts are concerned (usually because I'm just so excited about giving them, I want the receiver to be excited too, suspense is overrated). My kids have an inbuilt chocolate sniffing radar with a radius of 1.5 miles and can scale the kitchen cabinets like spiderman after a can of coke, though they usually share their find. Feelings have a habit of building up if hidden and surfacing sooner or later.
I hide my feelings from those close to me as well as from the well meaning Sunday enquirer:
"How's things? Alright?"
(usual reply) " yes, thanks. Busy.".....rush off to collect children, check pigeon hole and give vital messages to 3 people.
Sound vaguely familiar? Real life you might think. Yes, I know I can't pour my little heart out for half an hour with each person who asks. But, why aren't I braver sometimes or at least a bit more honest.
Here's an imaginary replay:
"Hi, Gill - how's things? Alright?"
...pause...think..."Oh, Hi -------(insert name) thanks for asking, work's OK. Though actually, I'm feeling pretty tired today and have been struggling quite a bit with being patient with the kids - I can be so horrid to them, it scares me."
(taken slightly aback by honesty of reply) "I'm glad your jobs going well, I didn't realise you struggled with the kids (ha ha) but I can pray about that for you if you want...."
"Thank you, really appreciate that (weight lifted) See you later"....Rush off to collect slightly scowling children, check pigeon hole and forget not-so-vital message for 3 people. That's why texting was invented.
Sounds simple doesn't it? I rarely do this.
There's something else I need to do more of: Take my feelings directly to God, right away.
I'm quite a slow learner, it seems. I'm not saying something new, something we all don't know. The practice is somewhat trickier.
I am learning that to hide my feelings from others is silly, but to hide them from God is plain stupid and detrimental to my spiritual life and relationship with Him. For a start, He knows them already, secondly He wants me to share them all with him (yes, ALL! - anger, frustration, despair, joy, excitement, fear, petty annoyances, disappointment...an endless list.) He wants me to depend on Him. God wants us to surrender our feelings to him. To stop hiding them in a feeble attempt at dealing with them by ourselves. Ideal scenario then:
Stop...pray "Lord, I'm feeling pretty ------------ (insert feeling) help me to trust you and to rely on you to help me deal with this feeling. I know you love me and understand my feelings......" (weight lifted, spirit comforted, relationship with God closer)
It's an amazing to remember that Jesus himself knows whatever feelings I have right now, he experienced them for himself.
I love the song 'surrender' which says: 'I'm singing you this song, I'm waiting at the cross, and all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss. For the sake of knowing you, the glory of your name, to know the lasting joy, even sharing in your pain, and I surrender all to you, all to you. And I surrender all to you, all to you.' I'm going to put this song on now, REALLY loud (to drown out some noisy toy with an overactive battery) and use it as a prayer. I might even cry, to be honest. For the sake of knowing God - I have to surrender ALL - that includes my feelings. The good, the bad and the ugly.
I'm determined, with Jesus' help, not to hide my feelings anymore. Definately not from Him and as far as possible not from you. So, be careful what you ask me when you see me, are you prepared to get an honest answer! I hope the answers I recieve from others from now on will be heartfelt and help me to pray for them. Go on be brave, the person you choose to share your feelings with has probably felt the same thing at some point. Go on, be brave - share them first with God. He knows already, He wants you to.
'hide (hid) To conceal; to put out of or withhold from sight; to secrete; to cover up; to keep secret, to withold from the knowledge of.' The Concise English Dictionary.
I've included an audio visual version of surrender on the video bar opposite.
07/07/2008
I'm so excited - my first blog!
If you could see me now! I'm practically hopping in my squeeky computer seat. I'm quite an excitable person though really and when a lovely young girl called Nicola advised me to get a blog last night after church I just couldn't contain my excitement. Poor thing, she didn't know quite what to make of a nearly middle-aged-mother jumping up and down in front of her, still she was polite and interested and most of all encouraging. Thanks Nicola! I became bouncy for two reasons, firstly because of a lack of computer literacy I was mostly unaware of this 'blogging lark' and I'm always excited to learn something new. Secondly, because I've wanted to write for women for a while and not only did she take my idea seriously (there were no audiable snorts or supressed giggles) but the lovely girl gave me lots of ideas of how to make my dream a reality, VERY exciting. This is stage one, writing a blog. Now all I need is someone to read it! Maybe Nicola will.
Excitement is a great thing. You can get excited about all sorts of things, Wimbledon seems to be exciting a lot of people at the moment. I've got a friend who's rather excited about a replacement for washing detergent, a product called eco-balls. Me, I can get excited about plenty of things; chocolate,a night out without the children, any girly film you care to name, a freebie - irrespective of it's use or value, a sale bargain, a new book. Excitement is one of those feelings that is also infectious, it seems to rub off other people straight onto me, so far I've escaped Wimbledon and eco-balls.
I've been reading a great book called 'The confident woman' by Joyce Meyer - a Christian writer who observes women to be 'feeling orientated' and I believe there's plenty of evidence to back that up, well there is in my house anyway. The point is that I've been excited about the same thing for an extremely long time, in fact for 15 years. Ordinary excitement doesn't last that long. In a couple of weeks after wimbledon's courts are treated and covered for another year and the pictures of the winners with their trophies are all in the recycling, that particular excitement will well and truely have passed. But I and lots of very wonderful people I know and millions like them have a source of constant excitement, the type that lasts. I'm talking about God of course. God and everything about him - His son, my saviour Jesus, the Bible, the fact that God's holy Spirit lives in me, I'm excited about worshipping God, talking with God, talking about God, singing to God and about God, working for God, what God has done, what God is doing. There is something to get excited about.
If this were natural it would have faded, but as it's source is supernatural it's a feeling I will never get tired of and will never want to exchange for another source of excitement. In fact as I've been reminded several times recently in fantastic sermons (though not exactly in these words!) excitement about God will satisfy me through my life and see me into eternity. I'm excited about that too, because there I'll be totally satisfied - not just excited about God but WITH him.
I'm constantly being challenged to demonstrate this excitement more, especially to my friends who haven't yet considered God as exciting. I do pray that God will continue to excite me, I pray that this will be a feeling that obvious to others I spend time with and will spread and rub off me onto them. I hope those others get excited and are in eternity with me. I hope I've excited you, with God. This very well know verse, the spark of my excitement those 15 years ago has many times excited me since because I know I'm included in the 'whoever': 'For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.' John 3:16
'excite (ek sit') To rouse, to stir into action, energy, or agitation;to stimulate, to bring into activity;to inflame the spirits of; to provoke, to bring about by stimulation;' The concise English dictionary
Excitement is a great thing. You can get excited about all sorts of things, Wimbledon seems to be exciting a lot of people at the moment. I've got a friend who's rather excited about a replacement for washing detergent, a product called eco-balls. Me, I can get excited about plenty of things; chocolate,a night out without the children, any girly film you care to name, a freebie - irrespective of it's use or value, a sale bargain, a new book. Excitement is one of those feelings that is also infectious, it seems to rub off other people straight onto me, so far I've escaped Wimbledon and eco-balls.
I've been reading a great book called 'The confident woman' by Joyce Meyer - a Christian writer who observes women to be 'feeling orientated' and I believe there's plenty of evidence to back that up, well there is in my house anyway. The point is that I've been excited about the same thing for an extremely long time, in fact for 15 years. Ordinary excitement doesn't last that long. In a couple of weeks after wimbledon's courts are treated and covered for another year and the pictures of the winners with their trophies are all in the recycling, that particular excitement will well and truely have passed. But I and lots of very wonderful people I know and millions like them have a source of constant excitement, the type that lasts. I'm talking about God of course. God and everything about him - His son, my saviour Jesus, the Bible, the fact that God's holy Spirit lives in me, I'm excited about worshipping God, talking with God, talking about God, singing to God and about God, working for God, what God has done, what God is doing. There is something to get excited about.
If this were natural it would have faded, but as it's source is supernatural it's a feeling I will never get tired of and will never want to exchange for another source of excitement. In fact as I've been reminded several times recently in fantastic sermons (though not exactly in these words!) excitement about God will satisfy me through my life and see me into eternity. I'm excited about that too, because there I'll be totally satisfied - not just excited about God but WITH him.
I'm constantly being challenged to demonstrate this excitement more, especially to my friends who haven't yet considered God as exciting. I do pray that God will continue to excite me, I pray that this will be a feeling that obvious to others I spend time with and will spread and rub off me onto them. I hope those others get excited and are in eternity with me. I hope I've excited you, with God. This very well know verse, the spark of my excitement those 15 years ago has many times excited me since because I know I'm included in the 'whoever': 'For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.' John 3:16
'excite (ek sit') To rouse, to stir into action, energy, or agitation;to stimulate, to bring into activity;to inflame the spirits of; to provoke, to bring about by stimulation;' The concise English dictionary
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